I cannot believe how long it has been since we have posted anything.  Our days are filled with love and caring for one another.  That is not to say that life is idyllic.  Our wonderful children, try as they may, still have melt downs and little dust ups over toys and who is right about a certain subject.  We are striving to make our home a contention free zone where there Spirit of the Lord resides more of the time so that we can feel His peace.  We are certainly not perfect at it but it is a worthy pursuit that is very appropriate during this time in our lives.  Actually, it is a worthy goal for all times of life its just that the value of it now seems greater than gold and does not fluctuate like the stock market. 

Amber has been having more and more difficulty getting out of the house.  Her level of energy is really low and she only controls her pain well when she is in bed or in her recliner.  On August 22nd she had a great desire to go to the temple.  For those who do not know, the temple is a place where we go to worship, learn, make covenants with the Lord, and feel close to heaven.  When you go you are usually there a couple of hours.  Based on the week she had I was unsure if she would be able to go.  She insisted on going no matter what and we went and were strengthened spiritually.  

On Sunday the 23rd they dedicated a new Temple and had a sweet service that she really wanted to attend.  Again I doubted whether she could make it based on pain and fatigue.  Yet again she taught me a sermon on faith, dedication, and courage by going against all odds.  We were able to attend with our children Blake, Bekah, and Abby.  Caleb and Ammon could not go because you had to be at least 8 years old.  We all felt the spirit of the Lord very strong and appreciated the opportunity to consider heavenly things together as a family.  How grateful we are that we have been able to learn together as a family God’s plan for our happiness and eternal progress.  It brings great peace to us all to know where we came from, why we are here, and where we are going when this life ends.  I know that the things we have learned are true and the promises of God are sure.  He knows where we are going and the path we must follow and why.  We can trust Him!

When Amber went on hospice at the beginning of May she wanted more than anything to be able to do things with our children while they were out of school.  We wondered because her oncologist thought she only had 3 months to live, if she would be able to accomplish this.  Many prayers have been offered by us and our children to allow Amber to participate in all of our family activities this summer.  The children started school August 31st.  Because of the grace, mercy, and love of the Lord Amber has made it.  We are so grateful to the Lord for granting us this great blessing.  The summer was truly wonderful and lifelong memories were made.  When we plead with the Lord to remove our burdens from us he always has the power to do so but some times it is not His will.  He is always mindful of us and our suffering and always stands ready to strengthen us, help us, and ease our burdens.  He always stands ready to heal our broken hearts.  All that is required is that we answer his constant call, “Come unto Me”.  I am grateful for His tender mercy of allowing Amber this season to be with her children.  Things like this help me to know that He knows our thoughts and He knows our hearts.  The Savior of us all does not leave us comfortless or alone.  

Now we just have Ammon home all day with grandma.  He misses the kids a little but is enjoying the individual attention and not having to compete for toys with Caleb.  Amber has still been sleeping a lot.  A week ago our wonderful hospice nurse Carol helped Amber with the decision to get a pain pump.  This allows her to have a constant stream of pain medication even if she is asleep.  She can hit a button for an extra amount if she needs it.  This allows her to stay on top of her pain management and be more comfortable.  We are grateful for the tender care given by Carol and also the social worker Sean who helps us all a great deal.  

I have decided as of this week to only work 5 hours per day so that I can spend more time with Amber and be more involved in her care.  This also allows me to be around my children more so they feel secure and have more access to a parent.  I feel good about my decision and enjoyed being home more yesterday.  I appreciate my co-worker’s willingness to pitch in on my workload and members of the management team in the office for allowing me this time.  

Thank you for all of your prayers, love and support.
 


Comments

Vickie Saunders Harkness

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 07:58:06

Music always brings me such comfort as I know it does you. There are thousands os songs but if you will indulge me, I'll leave you with some today and more in the days to come. Of course lyrics with the blending of the music makes it more powerful. If you can locate the Tabernacle Choir on this first one, it's just gorgeous and so peaceful. "You'll Never Walk Alone" from "Carousel". "When you walk through a storm hold your head up high, and don't be afraid of the dark. At the end of a storm, is a golden sky and the sweet silver song of a lark. Walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain though your dreams be tossed and blown. Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart, and you'll never walk alone. You'll never walk alone." The next two are my own and they are copyrighted. I've given you both of them but never told you the story behind them. "I Am With Thee" was written in answer to a fervant, pleading, letting out my frustrations out kind of prayer when I had two small children at home and thought I was stressed one morning. (I've come to find out I really did not know the meaning of the word!) I had been trying to feel the spirit all morning in preparing for a stake meeting and everything was chaos and it was only 10:00 a.m. I knew I needed to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer. Immediately after I calmed down, I pulled out my scriptures and the first thing I read was D&C 112:10. I know my book mark was not there and I knew immediately that my Father in Heaven had heard my prayer. Later that night I read, "I am with thee unto the end", and had that re-affirmation that He had heard me. As my life changed it was always my personal witness that He was and is there. "Dear Father, can you hear me? Are you there when I cry to thee? Do you truely understand the desires of my heart, and know how I lone for thy side? Do you know that life is hard? That at times I just can't see the reason or the purpose for the pain we must endure? Yet, I know you are there, I can feel the peace within, and I know in thee that I have found a friend. Pressures of the world seem at times too much to bear. I soon become discouraged and confused. But, just saying a small prayer, I remember you are there. I can almost hear you speak these words to me. 'I am with thee, be not afraid; for I will not leave thee, just trust in my word.' 'Be thou humble, and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers.' And give thee answer to all cares. I too have felt alone. I too felt grief and pain, but ye are my friend and I am with thee unto the end; unto the end, I am with thee." I wrote another one for a neighbor who lost her husband to brain cancer after only eight years of marriage. She was always saying, :When God closes a door, he opens a window." So, I wrote this for her. "When God closes a door, he opens a window, and lights a path we follow by faith. And even though it's hard to see a closing door, somewhere in my heart, I feel it's right. So just look towards the light, shining from the window. Feel the pease, feel the warmth, feel the love. Remember in that moment, God is there beside you. The windows of heaven, will open their arms to you. When God closes a door, he opens a window, and lights a path we hold to with hope. And even though it's hard, to see beyond the door, somehow in my mind, I know it's right. So keep looking towards the light shining from the window. Feel the peace, feel the warmth, feel the love. Remember in that moment, God is there beside you. The windows of heaven will open their arms to you. When God closes a door, he opens a window. His purposes must all be fulfilled. And now I understand why some doors need to close; and through His eyes, I see it's right. So just look towards the light shining from the window. Feel His peace, feel His warmth, feel His love. Remember in that moment, Gos is there beside you. The windows of heaven will open their arms to you." I want to send you some more lyrics to hopefully feel you mind with peace. For now, with love, Vickie

 

Heather

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 20:17:26

Thanks Dan for the post. It is always good to hear your words of comfort and wisdom on what is going on. I am glad that you can stay home more for this time and I know it will mean a great deal. It is like a breath of fresh air visiting Amber's blog on days like today with all the hecticness of school and my new commute. It really helps to bring things back to perspective. Thanks Vickie for your lyrics. I am sure the song is beautiful. Love you guys. Love, Heather

 

Stacey

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 15:14:19

I have never met your family but my Sister in-law's children were taught piano by Amber and I heard just how amazing you were well before this blog. Maybe I'm just a little nosey but when I heard Amber's story and learned that there was a blog, I decided to search the net and found the blog.

Your whole family is amazing! I can't even imagine how difficult this journey is but I want to tell you what a blessing this blog has been for me. I feel the spirit when I read. Your courage, faith and strength give me hope for a better day.

Thank you so much for sharing your feelings and thoughts through your blog. Though I don't know you personally, I can feel of your spirit and have been blessed to feel how cherished you are in the eyes of the Lord. Your testimonies have strengthened mine and I am so appreciative.

My prayers are with you and your family.

Thank you so much for setting such a wonderful example for all of us to follow.

 



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