I know it has been a really long time since I have last blogged.  I have just been unmotivated to get on the computer.  I spend my limited energy with my family, and whenever I have a chance to sit for a minute, I fall asleep.  I have been really unmotivated and have felt uninspired.  I just don't have a lot to say right now. 
    Life has been really good the last couple of weeks.  We had a wonderful time in San Diego.  It was such a beautiful city, and we made so many great memories.  I wanted to capture each memory so we can remember it all, so I took over 500 pictures. 
   My last test results were bad again.  The chemo isn't working, and it kind of feels like I am out of options, and just tired of the fight.  It has been a month since my last chemo treatment, and I have been feeling so much better with all of the toxic chemo  elements in my body.  I have a new home health care team, and they have redone all of my pain medications, and added new prescriptions to help with the different cancer symptoms I have.  It has made a huge difference in the quality of life I am experiencing.  Most days are really good days, and I am able to do a lot of things with my kids.  I do have days where I crash, and spend the entire day sleeping, however those are only after I have overdone it on good days. 
   So, that is what has been going on lately with me.  We are just enjoying spending time with family and friends, and enjoying every minute!  And one of these days when I am feeling more motivated, I will share more info about our recent trip to San Diego and put some pictures up on the site.  To all of those of you who read this, Thank you always for all of your love and concern, prayers and support!!!!


Hey Everyone!  This is Dan. 

We are in beautiful San Diego California and are enjoying the magnificent weather (not to hot, not to cold) and the amazing surroundings.  I have always wanted to take Amber to San Diego.  I visited with friends on spring break in 1992 and dubbed it the most beautiful "big city" in the USA.  Now that I finally made good on my promise to bring her here (thanks to Ammon) she is a believer.  The Ocean, the city, the temperate weather, the flowers, trees and folliage everywhere even in the freeway medians just make the city.  Amber will probably blog about the trip when we get back but I just had to tell one thing Amber did today that is indicative of her approach to life now.  We drove over a huge bridge to Coronado Island to Coronado Beach today.  The city of Coronado had these huge motorized handicap beach chairs to get people in her condition out to the water.  She drove it out there and laid on a beach towel to relax which is her favorite thing to do at the beach.  The kids were all out on in the water and rolling around in the sand seeing how much sand one swimming suit can hold and playing in the water intermittantly.  Amber decided that despite her condition she was not going to miss out.  She strolled out to the water and walked right in.  I thought it was just to get her feat wet and be closer to me and the kids so I went back to watching Ammon chase the birds and throw sand at them.  A couple of minutes later I hear what I thought was Amber screaming and went into full "Bay Watch" mode to go save her.  As soon as I caught sight of her I realized that she was squealing with delight (and from cold water I assume) and laughing as she frolicked in the waives.  I called out to her to be careful because it was deep enough, and the waives big enough, to cause her to lose her balance with her weakened hip.  Afterall I am not as fast running and swimming as David Hasselhoff although I would go for it if needed.  She ignored my pleas just like the kids had been doing and added giggling to the squealing and continued playing in the waives all by herself as the kids also watched in disbelief from the shore.  She actually did lose her balance on an extra big wave and lost her footing and lost her favorite sunglasses.  But there was no "I told you so" from me because if I live to be 100 I will never be able to erase the sight and sounds of my sweetheart living every MINUTE like it is a gift because to her it truly is.   


No news is not really good news.  I received bad news with my tumor marker tests.  My tumor markers went up about 20% to 104.  That was even with taking an extra 500 mg of Xeloda a day.  Obviously Xeloda is not working to kill the cancer.  I am stopping chemo for a while.  I see no sense in making myself sick when the cancer continues to grow anyway.  I am looking forward to having some quality time. 
   I know I tend to gloss over how miserable I really am on the blog because I hate to complain.  I have had so much pain from the cancer, that I haven't been sleeping well, and my dosage of pain meds is continually increased.  I also have tumor growing in my armpit that is growing on a nerve which makes my hand numb and tingling and pins and needle like pain.  It is hard to type. I have no strength in my hand, it is almost useless.  I can't play the piano very well, scrapbook, tie shoes, button things, etc.  It is so depressing at times. 
    As if life wasn't hard enough, Saturday night Dan started having intense pain in his abdomen.  Sure enough, appendicitis.  So we spent Sunday at the ER, and Sunday evening they took him in to have his appendix removed.  Surgery went well, but he is in pain from surgery.  He is hanging out with me in our family room.  What a pair we make! 
   Dan booked a trip for us last week to go to San Diego to celebrate 2 years of surviving cancer.  We are supposed to fly out on Sunday.  Hopefully he is recovered enough that we can go and enjoy!  I have always wanted to go to Sea World and the San Diego zoo.  He says he will be just fine.  I am on new pain medicine so I can hopefully be able to go and do while we are there. 

   Life hasn't been all bad.  We've celebrated Abby's 9th birthday and Bekah's 11th birthday.  We went and saw the flowers at Temple Square in Salt Lake.  2 weeks ago, Dan and I went to the Tulip Festival at Thanksgiving point.  That was truly amazing!  We stayed the night down there, and I am so glad we had that time together, just him and I. We've spent a bunch of time enjoying life and family, and making memories.
   This last weekend we went to Park City with Dan's family.  That was fun.  We go every spring, and the kids have a lot of fun playing with their cousins, swimming, and going shopping at the outlet mall.  I had to take a lot of naps and take a lot of pain medicine, but we still had a fun time (even though Dan was in pain from his appendicitis.) 

Me and Dan at the Tulip Festival.

Me and the kids at Temple Square.