Been there, done that. How do I get through it again?

I was sitting up feeling sorry for myself late last night.  I was frustrated and somewhat discouraged because I have to go to battle against my cancer again.  I thought, haven't I already done this!???  Why do I have to do it again???!!?!?  This is just so hard, and some people just seem to have it so easy.  

Suddenly the words to a favorite hymn of mine "Come, Come, ye Saints" came forcefully into my mind

"Why should we mourn, and think our lot is hard?
Tis not so!  All is right.
Why should we think to earn a great reward,
If we now shun the fight"

Gird up your loins; fresh courage take;
Our God will never us forsake;
And soon we'll have this tale to tell'
All is well!  All is well!!

I felt like Heavenly Father was telling me to gather my courage, pick myself up by my bootstraps and do what I need to do.  He will never forsake me, or leave me alone.  He will be there every step of the way to give me strength, courage, comfort and hope!!!!   My Savior, Jesus Christ, has suffered all so He can succor me through my challenges, illness, and heartaches.  

 I think of the pioneers and early saints and all of their sufferings and challenges.  They were persecuted, and had to walk hundreds and hundreds of miles.  I am so grateful that we have their diaries and records of what they endured.  It brings me so much comfort to know of their faith and their testimony building trials.  I hope as I share my "tale to tell" that I give some comfort to those who are journeying with me this cancer journey, and to my children if I am not here, and to others who may journey this path later on.

I also was reflecting on the last verse of this hymn:
"And should we die before our journey's through,
Happy day!  all is well!
We then are free from toil and sorrow, too;
With the just we shall dwell!"

Is death really such a bad thing"  It is certainly a sad time.  I know I miss my loved ones who have died.  The closest relative I have lost is grandfather, but I have lost a couple of dear friends.  My heart aches with loss, but my heart is also filled with gratitude, because I KNOW that they are in a better place, and they are free from suffering, and sorrow.  I know that I will see them again.  This life is such a short time.  This life is not the end.  I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that I will be with my family forever.  And if I should die, I will still be here, not in body, but in spirit.  I will still be there to comfort and guide my children and family.  My actions and words in this life, and in this blog, can help them if I am not here to speak to them.  I am working on scrapbooks full of my memories and advice for them.  And I know that when I die, I will be reunited with many loved ones who have missed me as I have missed them.  

Okay, I know that is a lot of focus on death, but I just needed to let everyone know how I stand on the subject of death.  I am not afraid to die.  The thought of not being here for my husband, children, and family breaks my heart.  But I take great peace in the scriptures and at church, that all will be made right,  Jesus promised that he would not leave us comfortless.  

So, I am gonna gird up my loins, take some fresh courage, God will never forsake me, and All is well!!!  All is well!!!