First of all, I want to thank all of you for your love and support regarding my current path on my cancer journey. This is at times a very difficult road, and I thank you for all of your sweet comments. Your words of love and encouragement bring me so much joy. I know that I am not alone, and your caring comments and prayers offered in my behalf bring me strength that I can not even explain!!!
I had an interesting time contemplating "Independence" day. I am no longer and independent person. I depend on daily help with my children, my home, my yard, my meals, driving, my medical care etc. It makes me feel kind of sad. I long for the days when my life was my own. I was able to take care of my kids, volunteer at schools, serve in my church, go grocery shopping, do laundry, cook, clean, taxi, nurse, referee, and play with my children. Now I depend on someone else to do all of those things. I wish it wasn't so. I am grateful for all the many people who take on all of these roles for me. But the truth is, I wish I could still do what I used to. I miss my old life.
So here I am, feeling bad because of my lack of ability, and then I receive an award from my city for the 4th of July because of my contribution to the community. I feel like all those who serve me and my family should receive awards, not ME. I was so humbled, and touched. I was told that I received the award because of the example and effect I have had on others. I got to ride in a hot Mustang Convertible in the 4th of July Parade. My face hurt from smiling so big as the crowds of people who give to me, cheered for me. A tear or two escaped from my eye as I reflected once again on how blessed I am. Trust me, if it wasn't for all the love and service we receive, I would not be able to deal with my trial as well as I have!