First of all, I want to thank all of you for your love and support regarding my current path on my cancer journey.  This is at times a very difficult road, and I thank you for all of your sweet comments.  Your words of love and encouragement bring me so much joy.  I know that I am not alone, and your caring comments and prayers offered in my behalf bring me strength that I can not even explain!!!

    I had an interesting time contemplating "Independence" day.  I am no longer and independent person.  I depend on daily help with my children, my home, my yard, my meals, driving, my medical care etc.  It makes me feel kind of sad.  I long for the days when my life was my own.  I was able to take care of my kids, volunteer at schools, serve in my church, go grocery shopping, do laundry, cook, clean, taxi, nurse, referee, and play with my children.  Now I depend on someone else to do all of those things.  I wish it wasn't so.  I am grateful for all the many people who take on all of these roles for me.  But the truth is, I wish I could still do what I used to.  I miss my old life.

So here I am, feeling bad because of my lack of ability, and then I receive an award from my city for the 4th of July because of my contribution to the community.  I feel like all those who serve me and my family should receive awards, not ME.  I was so humbled, and touched.  I was told that I received the award because of the example and effect I have had on others.  I got to ride in a hot Mustang Convertible in the 4th of July Parade.  My face hurt from smiling so big as the crowds of people who give to me, cheered for me.  A tear or two escaped from my eye as I reflected once again on how blessed I am. Trust me, if it wasn't for all the love and service we receive, I would not be able to deal with my trial as well as I have!

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7/9/2009 11:41:17 pm

I saw you as the guest post on beingcancer.com. I could see a difference right away in your post from others I read. So much faith and peace in your words! It is comforting to find others with whom we can relate, ie. cancer, young children, and faith! Thank you!

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7/10/2009 03:26:02 am

Hey Amber,

I just want you to know that you deserve all the awards you recieve. You are going through a trial that not very many people experience. You have done so bravely and with your head held high! You have been the "Job" of Perry. So many people have looked to your strength in spirit for themselves (me especially). You truly are a woman of God and have been such a light in so many lives. I have been so blessed and happy to know you and your family. Thank you! My love goes to you and your family. My the Lord bless you and keep you for as long as that may be!

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Heather
7/10/2009 07:52:42 am

You and the family look so cute in all of your American attire. What a nice day to experience with their mother. The kids have got to look to you as such a good example of a person of strength and self worth. Even though they will loose you in their younger years, the person that you have taught them to be and the example you have been will never be forgotten. You totally deserve a reward such as this. Even though you have been being the one physically served by those around you, you have spiritually served people close to you and people around the world who have gotten to know you through this blog. This was your communities way of saying thank you for letting us serve as God would have us do. People are in need of the blessings they receive from serving and that is how God helps the world go round. I am so grateful to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints so that I know that this is not the end and that it is only God's will. How do people get along not having the Faith that we do? We are all truly blessed. I love you. Have a good day/week/etc. Love your sister :)

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Jeanel Stanley
7/10/2009 08:11:12 am

Amber-

I'm sorry I haven't posted sooner. I want you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers all day, every day!

I want to thank you (and Dan) for your faith and example. No one can understand how hard it unless they are faced with it themselves. I just hit my year mark and I understand so much more and at such a different level than last year. I have a greater appreciation for the daily miracles that make this journey bearable. Meeting you and Dan has been one of my BIG miracles. Although it breaks my heart that you are an example to me and so many others, I thank you for being strong and submissive, brave and God-fearing, true and humble, faithful and hopeful. I appreciate your goodness and willingness to see this as God's will and trust that He knows more than we do. I am so grateful that we have been blessed with the gospel to help us through our challenges!!

I hope you and Dan have a wonderful time on your trip. We look forward to seeing you guys upon your return.

May God continue to bless you with strength in your soul and peace in your heart!

Much love,
Jeanel and Bruce Stanley

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Jennie Reese Moore
7/11/2009 12:18:38 pm

Hey Amber, I just did the relay for life yesterday and today. I put your name on my shirt along with a couple others. I pray for a cure soon!

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Anna
7/14/2009 02:19:42 am

I could just say "ditto" to everything everyone has said about you, because it's all true.

When I first met you, I knew I'd like you. You are awesome at making cards and I loved your Cuttlebug. Then I got to know you and you were the type that made it easy to talk to.

I can totally see why you got the community award. Physical service is great and all, but spiritual counts too. You have definately spirtually served everyone around you. I know I'm a better person from knowing you and your family and seeing how you are dealing with your trial.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm glad you are feeling pretty good from the pain management.

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