First of all, i want to thank all of my blog readers for your love and support. I appreciate your words of encouragement and support, and for not looking down on me because I am weak sometimes. Thank you!!
I was archiving my blog this morning, and I came across a post from last January very similar to my last post. There just must be something about this time of year that triggers feelings of despair and sadness. I am still struggling emotionally right now, but I am trying to refocus and change my perspective. I need to remind myself that if you look for negative, you find it, but if you look for positive, you will find that too. I have been focusing too much on the bad things about cancer, and have forgotten all of the good things. For example, I hate that I can't cook and clean, but I am so grateful for the kindness of others cooking and cleaning for me. See, it is all in the perspective. I am going to try harder to focus on the good and not the bad, and hope that I can find strength and faith to deal with cancer and all of the hard things that go along with it.
I am off to the oncologist today. I didn't cancel my appointment . I will have herceptin and Zometa today. I should have been taking Xeloda this week, but I haven't been able to bring myself to take it. I am having a hard enough time dealing with life right now without adding all of the side effects and misery of one more thing.
We took the kids to Chuck E. Cheeses last night for a fun family home evening activity. They all had a really good time (even though it exhausted me). Another good thing is American Idol starts tonight!!!! Yippeee!!! See, I can still enjoy life even though I have cancer. I just need to remember to take the time to enjoy the little things, and quit feeling sorry for myself and focusing on all of the things I can't do.