I began my chemo pills again last night after having several weeks off.  It has been 4 weeks since I have had IV chemo either.  It has felt so wonderful to be able to eat and enjoy food, enjoy family events, go on vacation, and have a little more energy  while I have had my little chemo break.  
     Having metastatic cancer causes so many problems by itself; pain, fatigue, stomach issues etc.  When you add chemo, you  just add a bunch of other problems.  During my chemo break I was able to do so many great family things like my sister in law's wedding, going out to dinner as a family, going to the Draper temple open house, and of course our vacation to St. Maartin.  
   As much as I have enjoyed my weeks off from chemo, it is time to start the fight again.  There was a part of me that really didn't want to start chemo again.  The chemos that I am on only has a 20% chance of slowing the cancer.  I realize that if I don't take chemo, I have a 0% chance.  As difficult as it is to suffer the side effects, I feel like I have to TRY to do my part in fighting this disease.  I need to know that I did my part to be here for as long as possible for my family.  
    I am being a glutton for punishment this week. Not only am I doing my oral chemo pills, I am going in for IV chemo today.  I figure if I am going to be sick, I may as well double up and be really sick all at once.  Plus I had to have an  infected ingrown toenail removed yesterday.  Due to chemo my nails grow all wonky, just another lovely side effect of my cancer treatments.
    Needless to say, I am going to be flat in bed the rest of the week.  My sister in law brought me some movies including the Anne of Green Gables movie series.  So, I am going to have some great entertainment!  I am always so grateful for all of the thoughtfulness of friends and family.  My family and I am taken such good care of.  I am always so grateful for the meals brought in, and thankful for the friends who take my little boys every afternoon so I can nap.  If we weren't taken such good care of, I know I wouldn't have the energy to fight! 

Angie
3/17/2009 10:17:19 am

Keep fighting Amber. I know it's a hard fight but you can do it. You and your family are still in my prayers.

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3/17/2009 10:31:02 am

Amber - First, Happy Saint Patrick's Day. Second, your March 2009 picture is wonderful. I know you probably don't feel like it but you look marvelous! Third, congratulations on passing the 22 month marker. Next marker is 34 months, then 46 months and so on until a cure is found. I can only imagine how hard this is for you but keep fighting - you are so special.

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Emily
3/18/2009 04:35:59 am

Good luck this week. I just have to say that I have never heard the word "wonky" and it cracked it me up. I'll have to try to use it in a sentence this week. Even through it all, you still stay so witty and positive. Thanks for the chuckle. I sure love you!

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3/18/2009 12:16:21 pm

I am glad you enjoyed your time off. I too have really enjoyed my 2 weeks of feeling good, but it is time to get back to the grind. I just had my second of four treatments today and go in for my Nuelasta shot tomorrow. (I hate that thing!!) I'm not looking forward to the next week, but as you say, "it is what it is." I will call you early next week to set up a time to come up and see you. I'd love to bring lunch!! Keep the faith. I think about you often and you are always in my prayers! You are truly amazing and you are earning your royal crown every day! Although it makes my heart ache that I learn from your example, I want to thank you from the bottom of (my aching) heart for your courage, faith, and goodness!

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Sarah Morris
3/19/2009 01:35:21 pm

Dear Amber,

You don't know me, but I am in your mother-in-laws ward. Every time I get the chance to talk to Karen, you are the first thing that comes to my mind and I want to know how you are doing. Your blog is very impressive for not having very much energy. I am so glad that you are able to come on here as often as you do and share you thoughts and testimony with the world. You are such an inspiration to others who are going through trials in their lives. I hope others feel just a small amount of your sweet spirit and know that there is a Father in Heaven watching over us all. He loves us and cares for us all, even in our darkest moments. Thank you again for your message of faith and hope, and may you continue to touch the lives of many others across this world.

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Kristen
3/23/2009 01:34:24 am

Amber....I loved visiitng last week with you and Dan and family. We will be praying extra hard this week...I can't imagine?

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Katie
3/24/2009 03:00:15 pm

Thanks for being a great example to me. I'm so happy to have you for a sister-in-law. When Scott and I first dated, and I first met the fam, I felt something special particularly for you and Rachel, the sister in laws. I just felt like I knew you already. Beholding your strength and courage in this life has been great, and I'm glad to be a part of the eternal family circle with you, because rubbing shoulders with you is something I don't ever want to stop, even if we both live to be 117. You are just awesome, and your entire family has been amazing to watch through this long trial. Thanks for sharing your strength with me, and helping me treasure my time here on earth.

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Aunt Lori
3/26/2009 11:47:23 am

Our thoughts and prayers are with you. You are loved by so many. Keep up the fight. I'm sure it's been a tough week for you and your family. They are working hard to make advances in the cure every day. I'm sure the answer is right around the corner. Love ya bunches, Aunt Lori

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3/27/2009 04:03:37 am

KEEP FIGHTING!!

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