Amber Chase's Musings on Cancer and Life

On my bathroom counter there is a bucket.  A  bucket full of all my prescription drugs.  Every Sunday, I fill up my pill organizer with all of the pills I have to take for the week.  My memory isn't what it used to be, so I tend to forget if I took all of my medicine every day or not.  I hate swallowing pills. 

I am still really tired.  My tissue and skin is still tender from radiation.  My back and hip hurts when I try to vacuum, sweep, pick up toys, or scrub floors.  I feel like an old woman.   I can't sleep at night.  I don't have any energy.  I get stomaches quite often.  

I wish I could just say, I'm cured!  I'm all better!  I feel great!  But sadly, I don't.  And it is depressing.  I just want to be normal.  I just want to be able to do what I used to be able to do. 

I have to go for treatment tomorrow.  I don't want to .  I wish I didn't have to go to the doctors anymore. 

A week from Wednesday (Feb 27th) Dan is taking me on vacation.  We are going to Puerto Rico.  I need a vacation!  I am looking forward to relaxing and the warm tropical weather!

A week ago, my baby turned 2 years old.  They grow up so fast!   

I don't mean to be negative, but some days are harder than other. 
I'm sure things will get better.

It seems like everywhere I go, people tell me how cute, darling, fun, etc. my hair is.  If only I would have known, I would have chopped my hair off a long time ago!!!  It is really fun to "do" my hair.  I am trying out different styling goops to find the one that works.  This is a hairstyle I never would have chosen for myself, but I'm glad that people seem to think it suits me.  Who would have thunk.