Hello Everyone. 

I have not posted anything for a while but I thought I would just in case there are still people that still check in here. 

The kids and I are still doing amazingly well.  I cannot believe that its been five weeks tomorrow since my sweet Amber passed away.  I am not sure how to describe my feelings right now so I just won't.  I continue to be in awe at the amazing blanket of peace that has continued to surround the kids and I.  I can only describe it like if you reached out and touched a stove that you knew was hot expecting fully to be burned and then nothing happens.  We all fully expected to be in intense pain and while we do miss Amber we are not experiencing the pain we expected.  In its place there has been blessed peace that is hard to describe.  We are truly grateful.  I am sure that Amber has had a hand in this. 

Halloween passed weeks ago now.  My kids were so cute and funny.  Rebekah was going to dress up like a gypsy but after planning her costume for weeks she  found that the skirt she was going to wear did not fit so she dressed up like the most adorable "teenage witch" you ever saw.  Eat your heart out Sabrina the teenage witch here comes Bekah the teenage witch.  Abby came up with the idea of being a CEO.  She was wearing a blazer, glasses, and a leather briefcase and her sassy attitude was not in short supply.  Any one who suggest that she might be a lowly CFO was quickly corrected.  Caleb was the toughest little spiderman that you have ever seen.  The costume was so thin that even though it was not very cold I insisted on a couple of layers of clothing underneath.  It made him look, tough, muscular, and warmer than he probably needed to be.  Ammon decided all by himself a couple of months before that he was going to be an old grandpa.  He wore mismatched old man type clothes that did not go together, sparse whiskers from a poor shave, a pair of wire rimmed glasses, an old derby hat, and a cane.  He walked really slow (much to the dismay of the other kids who wanted to collect lots of candy) and said tricker treat in a shakey grandpa voice.  Even the people who know him pretty well and know what a character he is could not believe he thought of that on his own.  By the end of tricker treating I was carrying his cane, his candy and his derby.  It was so much fun.  Blake stayed home, dressed as an ornery teenager and "handed out" all or our candy.  I would like to thank my cousin Tamera who spearheaded the costume planning and acquisition of all the things the kids wore.  Amber loved Halloween and would have been absolutely delighted with how the kids looked. 

Since then we have just been living.  Going to school and work, coming home, doing homework, practicing the piano, doing chores, having dinner together, studying scriptures together, praying together, and doing what ever comes up together.  Blake came and visited this past weekend.  He seems to be adjusting to living with his dad but seemed legitimately pleased to be "home" at our house.  The little boys were most excited to have him and have missed him the most.  It was nice to have Blake here with us. 

A week ago I realized that I was less than three weeks from Caleb's birthday and six weeks or so from Christmas.  Needless to say I was scared out of my mind.  The last two years people have "done" Christmas for us.  When I say done, I mean done.  They shopped, wrapped, and delivered an entire Christmas for our family.  I was appreciative of what they did but I had no idea the amount of planning and work they had saved me.  Don't get me wrong, I am excited to be more involved in "doing Christmas" for my family but I decided not to try to make all the decision after Thanksgiving dinner.  I have a goal to be completely finished Christmas shopping by 12/1.  I think I have been doing pretty good but I guess my kids will let me know on Christmas how I really did.  If you have kids near the same age as mine and have a great idea for them individually or a family gift let me know.  I have really never seen the kids this excited.  Caleb talks constantly about his birthday and the kids especially Bekah are going coocoo for Christmas.  Bekah offered to tickle my back for 5 hours if I would tell her what she was getting.  I told her no because watching her freak out is much more fun than a good back tickling.

I guess I need to go tuck my little boys into bed so I better close this.  Thank you all for the continued outpouring of love toward my family.  It has truly been wonderful to feel your love.  You all take such good care of us.  Your good deeds don't go unnoticed or unappreciated.  Since we now have connections in heaven I am hoping Amber puts a good word in for you all in heaven.  Me too.  Heaven knows I could use it.