 Jack-in-the-box
Did you ever play with a jack-in-the-box when you were little. You know the toy, where you crank the handle, and the song "Pop goes the weasel" plays. You know what is coming, you know this scary-funny looking clown thing is going to pop up, and you are going to be startled. You just don't know when. You turn, and turn, and turn the handle, waiting for the inevitable to happen.
That is how I feel. I feel like a ticking time bomb. I just know that the day is going to come when my cancer is going to rear it's ugly head again. I just don't know when or where. Some days I can almost forget that I have cancer, but the reality is that those terrible little cancer cells are still there, just waiting to "POP" into growing and spreading again. The fear is always there in the back corner of my mind, no matter how hard I try to shove it out my head. I can't forget.
I try to just enjoy turning the handle of life, enjoying the music and happy times. And hopefully I won't scare too bad when "Pop goes the cancer!!!!"
 Benefit concert held for Amber Chase May 16th 2008. Given by Abby Chase, and friends Savannah Anderson and Riley Davis.
 Savannah Anderson, Rebekah Chase, Ammon, Me, Abby Chase, Keigely Davis, Riley Davis.
Anyone who has children understands how EXASPERATING they can be. Some days they just drive you absolutely CRAZY! And then some days, they do the sweetest, most wonderful things. Yesterday was one of those crazy days, and today was one of those precious sweet days.
My 8 year old daughter Abby, and her friends, Savannah and Riley gave me a benefit concert. They have been planning this for weeks. They wrote and practiced songs during recess at school. Then they made fliers and handed them out around the neighborhood. They wanted to do something to help earn money for my cancer treatments. I thought the sentiment was sweet, and so heart warming! The fact that they came up with the idea themselves, and spent so much time preparing and were so excited for it....... Words can't describe how precious it was. I received a bouquet of wildflowers, and the girls made a heart shaped envelope for donations.
It was so touching and sweet, and totally adorable. They sang some original songs, and then sang along with a couple of Hannah Montana songs and Alvin and the Chipmunks songs. They danced and did gymnastics. My face hurt from grinning. We only had an audience of the girls' parents, grandparents, and siblings, as well as a couple of neighborhood kids, and it took place on the lawn of the elementary school, but it was the BEST concert I have ever been to!!!!!!!
I am humbled, and awed that these young girls cared so much to do something so special for me. It just goes to show you, that no matter who you are, or how young or old you are, you can make a difference.
So next time I go to the doctor, I am going to pay the $84.72 donated at my benefit concert towards my thousands of dollars of doctor bills, and this will be the biggest payment I have made because it means the most. I don't think those girls and their families, and the people who donated will ever know the difference this made in our life. But I am once again humbled and amazed at how blessed I am.  Savannah and my daughter Abby. Savannah made the most adorable envelope that said "donations for Amber" on one side, and "We love Amber" on the other side.
 Paragraph.
One year ago today, I head the life altering words, "We believe you have a rare, very aggressive form of breast cancer called inflammatory breast cancer." For a moment, the world stood still. The next moment the world was a very different place.
The following days were a whirlwind of biopsies, bone scans, MRI's CT scans, and doctors appointments. This was followed by weeks of chemotherapy, more tests, more Doctors appointments. Throw in a couple of surgeries, and 6 weeks of radiation.
I can scarcely believe that it has been 365 days. Some days seemed like they would never end, I was so sick, and in so much pain. But the weeks flew by, as did the months. And now it has been a YEAR!!!!
But I survived! Although not alone. I know that I would have been unable to bear the burdens of this trial without help from all of my family and friends, priesthood blessings, and most importantly, my Savior.
So celebrate with me today! I challenge to look with new eyes at the world around you. Enjoy the beauty of spring, the flowers, the blossoms on the trees, the beautiful blue sky. Even when life is hard, it is still good. Count your blessings. Every breath is a gift. Every moment with your friends and family is precious. Smile and laugh, and enjoy life!!!!!!
 My boys
 My girls!
 My TEENAGER, Blake
 Silly moments that make me laugh.
 My sweet, sassy Abby.
 My sweetheart, Dan, who spoils me rotten.
 My little tornado, Ammon, who occasionally tires out.
 The beauty of nature.
 Being able to take my kids on "special nights" like my dad did when I was growing up. Each week I take 1 of my kids on an activity of their choice, so we can have 1 on one time. I am grateful that my dad did this for me, and glad that I am physically able to do things like take Caleb to the Dinosaur Park.
 This is a picture of me and Abby on her baptism day. I am so grateful that I am still here and was able to be here for that special day. I can't believe how time is flying by, and how well I am feeling. I just got my hair highlighted and I love the color and new cut. It is fun having short hair.
I had the privilege of speaking at the Baptism about the Holy Ghost. I thought I would share my talk here.
More than 20 years ago I turned 8 years old. I had a birthday party and received lots of gifts. I am sure that I received clothes, dolls, toys, and other fun things.
Because this was so long ago, I don't have any of the those gifts that I received when I was 8 years old. To tell you the truth, I don't even remember what gifts I received for my birthday that year. I have a hard time remembering what gifts I received last year! Even if I still had those gifts, the clothes would no longer fit me, or I wouldn't have much use for the toys and dolls.
The year I turned 8 years old I received another gift. I still have this gift, and I use it all the time. The gift I received was the gift of the Holy Ghost. Today after you are baptized you will also receive this most wonderful and precious gift.
In the Book of Mormon, King Benjamin taught his people about the atonement of Christ, and receiving a remission, or forgiveness, from their sins. After they were taught about the atonement, they all cried aloud with one voice, saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who created heaven and earth, and all things; who shall come down among the children of men.
3 And it came to pass that after they had spoken these words the Spirit of the Lord came upon them, and they were filled with joy, having received a remission of their sins, and having peace of conscience, because of the exceeding faith which they had in Jesus Christ who should come, according to the dwords which king Benjamin had spoken unto them.
After you are baptized, you will also be receiving this remission from your sins, and you too will be filled with joy, just like the people of King Benjamin!
The Holy Ghost can be your constant companion. He will help you to know when things you learn in church are true, or when you read the scriptures that they are true. He will comfort you when you are sad or scared, He will warn you when you are making a bad choice, and help you to know when you are doing something that Heavenly Father would be pleased with. He will also help you to know when you have done something wrong, and help you feel the need to repent. The Holy Ghost has been described as a "still small voice". You have to listen carefully so you can hear his promptings. He doesn't whisper in your ear, but whispers in your heart.
A favorite scripture of mine that can help you remember this is found in Moroni 7:16.
16 For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.
When you are baptized you make a covenant, or two way promise, to Heavenly Father to always keep his commandments. In return you are promised to always have His spirit to be with you. You will be reminded of this promise each week when the sacrament is blessed. I encourage you to listen carefully during the sacrament prayers, because these will remind you what you have promised, and what Heavenly Father has promised you in return.
To keep the Holy Ghost as your constant companion, you need to be choosing the right. Sometimes when me make mistakes, or maybe aren't as good at reading our scriptures, or saying or prayers like we are supposed to, he may not stay with you all the time. But if you are faithful, and always TRY to keep the commandments, and repent when you make mistakes, you can always have his spirit to be with you.
In closing I would like to talk about the words to the Primary song, When Jesus Christ was baptized.
When Jesus Christ was baptized down in the river Jordan,
Three members of the God head were present there in love.
The father spoke from Heaven when Jesus Christ was baptized,
The Holy Ghost descended as gently as a dove.
Today when you are baptized, I am sure you and all of your friends and family members will feel the Holy Ghost, just like when Jesus was baptized. Heavenly Father is pleased with your decision to be baptized, and you will feel His love through this wonderful gift of the Holy Ghost. Remember this sweet feeling, and always try your best to keep the commandments so you can feel the Spirit with you always. I know the Holy Ghost is real. I have felt his presence in my life often, and I know you will as well.
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